Boredom is interesting
March 5th 2007 22:32
Boredom is interesting. It’s not the same as tiredness. But it’s not the same as being interested in something either. It’s kind of agitated and tired at the same time.
Often what is happening for us when we are bored is that we have competing desires. On the one hand we want to do one thing, on the other hand something else. And we feel stuck because the desires are about equally strong. (If they weren’t we’d easily go with the stronger one). So, boredom is a kind of low grade conflict, if it was more intense we’d probably not say we were bored but frustrated, angry or in pain.
One way of coping with boredom is to do something else. If the two competing desires aren’t terribly strong this will work. If we have other things we care more about we will happily get on with doing these things and not worry about the other stuff.
But what when this doesn’t work? Then we need to pay attention to the boredom. We need to find out what the competing desires are.
Once we know what they are we can examine them. It may be that one (or more) is entirely unrealistic. Then we need to find out why we want this and perhaps to mourn that it is not possible. Or it may be that both are possible, we just need to do one first and then the other, not both at the same time. And finally we may need to find a way to honour both desires. This can take creative and persistent work. It means examining that what we want may have a deeper desire lying underneath (that new house may represent a fresh start, that change in behaviour may be a desire for respect). When the two desires are realistic it is usually possible to honour both – because they are both part of who we are.
However, we do it, finding our way through our boredom means some energy is released that was tied up in a conflict. When this energy is released we feel better – a little or a lot. We are, for a while anyway, healthier.
Often what is happening for us when we are bored is that we have competing desires. On the one hand we want to do one thing, on the other hand something else. And we feel stuck because the desires are about equally strong. (If they weren’t we’d easily go with the stronger one). So, boredom is a kind of low grade conflict, if it was more intense we’d probably not say we were bored but frustrated, angry or in pain.
One way of coping with boredom is to do something else. If the two competing desires aren’t terribly strong this will work. If we have other things we care more about we will happily get on with doing these things and not worry about the other stuff.
But what when this doesn’t work? Then we need to pay attention to the boredom. We need to find out what the competing desires are.
Once we know what they are we can examine them. It may be that one (or more) is entirely unrealistic. Then we need to find out why we want this and perhaps to mourn that it is not possible. Or it may be that both are possible, we just need to do one first and then the other, not both at the same time. And finally we may need to find a way to honour both desires. This can take creative and persistent work. It means examining that what we want may have a deeper desire lying underneath (that new house may represent a fresh start, that change in behaviour may be a desire for respect). When the two desires are realistic it is usually possible to honour both – because they are both part of who we are.
However, we do it, finding our way through our boredom means some energy is released that was tied up in a conflict. When this energy is released we feel better – a little or a lot. We are, for a while anyway, healthier.
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