Melanoma cont. 4
March 11th 2007 03:32
5. Talking to those who’ve been there. Cancer is still not freely talked about. This means that you can probably find fairly easily people who have been through it but who you didn’t know had been there. These people can be incredibly helpful – not only in not feeling alone but with lots of specifics and how to handle lots of little details. Emotions are for communicating, and having people you can talk to is a great help.
6. Dealing with others’ reactions. Other people can be traumatised by knowing that you have cancer. The only possible thing to do is not tell those you don’t want to. Others will try to minimise how important it is (melanoma gets lumped with other skin cancers and so people think it isn’t serious) perhaps as a way to handle their own trauma. Others will be warm, supportive and offer help. It is usually surprising how considerate people are and you can be surprised at how many people offer what help they can give. The great majority of responses have been caring.
7. Friends and support and it’s OK to bore people while you are making sense of it all. One reaction to the diagnosis of cancer is to want to find out as much as you can. It is important to feel good about this reaction. If you are worried ask others to tell you when they are overwhelmed or bored. Especially if you have more than one person to talk to
8. A final word if you’re the friend of the person who has melanoma. The person who gets the diagnosis will probably be traumatised. They will probably be scared, angry, frustrated, sad and much else as well. And it will all be quite intense. This can be very demanding. Find ways to look after yourself as well as possible. If you can take time off work do so, find ways to catch up on sleep if possible, eat as healthily as possible and get some exercise. All this will help you cope with the stress. It is not selfish to think of yourself, you need to be as close to your best so you can offer the best possible support.
6. Dealing with others’ reactions. Other people can be traumatised by knowing that you have cancer. The only possible thing to do is not tell those you don’t want to. Others will try to minimise how important it is (melanoma gets lumped with other skin cancers and so people think it isn’t serious) perhaps as a way to handle their own trauma. Others will be warm, supportive and offer help. It is usually surprising how considerate people are and you can be surprised at how many people offer what help they can give. The great majority of responses have been caring.
7. Friends and support and it’s OK to bore people while you are making sense of it all. One reaction to the diagnosis of cancer is to want to find out as much as you can. It is important to feel good about this reaction. If you are worried ask others to tell you when they are overwhelmed or bored. Especially if you have more than one person to talk to
8. A final word if you’re the friend of the person who has melanoma. The person who gets the diagnosis will probably be traumatised. They will probably be scared, angry, frustrated, sad and much else as well. And it will all be quite intense. This can be very demanding. Find ways to look after yourself as well as possible. If you can take time off work do so, find ways to catch up on sleep if possible, eat as healthily as possible and get some exercise. All this will help you cope with the stress. It is not selfish to think of yourself, you need to be as close to your best so you can offer the best possible support.
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